FUCKED.

very much fucked.

and yeah, thanks.(: for the fucked up day.

They're comedians. (:

HAHA.

Anyhoo, Thanks edzuan from the treat last night. Thanks Kawan Pacels for buying me that stuff. Woohoooooooo. I love people.

But im allergic to Edzuan i think he makes me sneeze. Really.

Manjer, if you think pinching my cheeks will make me stop calling you gay, youre so wrong. Nyahnyah. Im so into indonesian-malay songs CAN! This is all that Dinah Banana fault la.

Tanpaaaaamu ku matiiiiiiii.

And im hooked on that aizat song also.

harusnya takkan ku biarkan kau pergiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Ni semuer ikan adi's fault la. ANyhow call people katak.

Merepek. So im off to meet Dinah now for our weekly bitching sessions okay bedek, for our homeworks so if you miss me.

*yana and faz and edzuan in chorus*
" just shout julie and you'll be there"

with this, i thank you.

xoxo
Julietheprettygirlyoutoldyourfriendsabout.

Friday was spent, bitching.
Friday was spent, in such a malancholy ambiance.
Friday was spent, with awesome people.

However, Friday was also spent, neglecting fucked ups. I couldnt sleep at all last night though i wanted to very badly. I saw the phone blinking too many times but i refuse to pick up the call. Because i dont think im just like any other girls you had. i dont think you can vent it all on me when youre having moments and then apologise right after that. You dont just come and go you know. Im having the moments now. Which is making it worst since im facing a little too many issues.

The bottle competition is getting wayyyy out of hand. Which is really really bothering me though i try to shove it away sometimes.

I love Deeyan's hair. I am jealous.
I love Chocolate cream chip now. Because i hate caramel. UG.

i listen to soulja boy and i listen to yelle and i listen to blonderedhead. So dont judge me through my songs please.

i feel quite sad that zul's sad now. ): He was never like this before and its really affecting me somehow when i saw how he reacted to certain stuff. God, we need to talk tunangku sayang! HAHA

Adi adi, your birthday kasi parking coupons boleh? my rumah banyak seh.

• Happy belated birthday Arif, i hope you like the cookie. ((:
• Happy birthday Tan Song Wei i hope you like the gift Manjer, William and i got. Sorry couldnt make it today for the partaye!
• Im sorry Faz for making you cry.
• Thank you Yana.
• Thanks adi for the wallet, bag. I hope your feet gets better. (:
• Thanks Miss Lim.
• Sorry Khai for not replying ur messages
• Sorry Dinah for not being able to kelua with you today.
• I love Peds.

Its just awesome. I'll strive for dnt, math and english. NYAHAHE.

I want cigg box for my birthday leh. Pink one.
And go kbox. HAHAHA. SERIOUS.

bye ah.

I sayang all my girlfriends sia. Like gerek right, stand up for each other? HAHAHA. Low-life bastards.

Anyway i just got back from an early study date with Dinah Syazanah! and from meeting that stupid mate kecik. HAHHA.  I love math now. i really do. but i dread all the other subjects. Hah the irony of it huh.

Well i think my father hates me. He talked to me in a tone that he said he'll use once hes got enough of me. At first i thought what the fuck who the hell cares. But as i come to think about it, i think its pretty pathetic how ive been leading life.

I have got a dad and a granmother in my family. And theres only the three of us. How fucked up can any fucked up life can be? And even so, i have a busy dad whos constantly working for the benefit of this threesome family and a granmother who's always worrying about me. I love them both very much. I just dont show it. However, i just doubt my dad loves me as much. I have always had issues with dad. Though i try to cover it up sometimes, i know he cares. i know hes working hard for me. But hes not understanding me enough.

Its the disputes i have at home thats affecting my social problem as well as my school work. everything's affected. I know i have been rebellious. I am aware that ive been neglecting my school work and not caring a hoot about my discipline in school. But hell, nobody cares anyway.

Which was why i resorted to smoking. Drinking, well, really soon. I dont fucking care anymore. Why should i?

Why should i even bother to study hard, to keep up and maintain my good conduct when theres no one around to appreciate what im doing? I need motivation. Someone to tell me im appreciated, special and loved.

Thats why i have my friends. And thats why i treasure and love them more than anything else. Guys, thanks. (:

Thank you so much for listening to me whine, complain, joke, laugh, cry. Im sorry if i havent been there for you guys, especially to you girls. Im always here okay if you need me, its just that im not so strong myself now.

FUCK. how can i be so weak! GKDSIGHSKGFDMHBDFLDK

How can i even tell yana that this are all temporary and this will go off soon?
How can i even tell adi that everything's will be okay i'll help him come to terms with it?
How can i even tell Faz that hey we can all pass O levels if we try our best?
How can i even tell Naddy that we can all overcome our problems if we look at the bright side of it.

When i dont even practise it myself. Im a bad friend. Dont listen to me. i sound so imateenagerhearmeroar.  

Maybe the hacker to Adi's friendster profile is right, " dah la tkde mak, nak step byk"

Im a fucker with a dad that hates her, mom-less, and a fucked up wasted life.

Cheers.

Happy birthday to my sayang sayang sayang Fahmi! i sayang youu many many lah okay!

hahahaa

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.  The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. 

ANYWAY.

Im so glad i let everything out to Ardy last night. Okay irritating eh Ardy. Adi better. Yeah, i know he shouldnt know this and all but letting him know and after hearing and witnessing how he reacted to that, i was relieved. very very much relieved.

Im glad he's learnt the essence of life. Im glad he knows he's worth it. (:

" Just give them the face you always give me la. They'll shut up nyer"

HAHAHAHA.

Thanks Adi.

And knnccb, he's far more than what just meets the eye. Well at the very least, he's someone i can call up at 4am and will still be there. And he tells me things i dont wanna tell myself.

And you bunch of fucktards can jolly well go fuck yourself.

Serious ah.

On my 17 birthday i shall,

• Get drunk, i know im still not legal but wtf ah.
• Smoke till my heart's content.
• hug everybody that wishes me
• pray that i pass emath common test.
• fuck Khai. (: yeah i promised. HAHA.

And what i want for my birthday.

• Canmake foundation. The silver cover one. $33 only ah.
• Za Foundation. Its an alternative ah.
• Madagascar 2 Soundtrack.
• Seventeen Magazine subscription. HAHAHAHAAHA.
• A Nike bag.
• Extentions for my Phone.
• Vanns shoe.
• A big red and green cake. I DONT CARE MUST red AND green because i want to share it with adi. (: eh i so sweet can.
• Sakura treat.
• Lots lots lots lost of sushi.
• Okay treat to Sakae also can.
• 10 ideations. HAHAHAA.
• A fuckin awesome wallet with awesome prints on it so i wont lose my bloody money anymore.
• Lots lots lots of sweets.
• Lots lots lots of hugs.
• Lots lots lots of lollipops.
• Top shop bag.
• The Fox Bag i saw the other day with Faz
• The 99 dollars bag i saw the other day with Faz also.
• Bling bling lighter.
• Decorated Cigg case.
• Pink Nike slippers.
• Spectacle Hook.
• $150 dollars to rebond my hair. HAHA.
• lots lots lots lots lots lots of hairclip. Hairband also can.
• BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.must big big ah.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaay! yes ah i will be so happy if i get them seh.

Okay i need to get ready to go out now, so toodle loos.

I am officially annoyed. Im sick of being the tough one. I shall let my guard down. Fuck you fuckers.

i love adawiyah for being in the same boat as me.

sayang wiwi.

and i hate everybody else.

and im that depressed.

im typing in the fucking largest font blogdrive can have.

and i think my neighbour in the opposite block can see what im typing because its fuckin big.

i cheebyly hate you. serious, fucking, shit.

so now you can go fucking write your own happy ending love story.

fucking fucker.

*points middle finger*

cock face.

Because no matter what, i know they'll stand by me. (:

So! We took random stupid pictures with each other using Finna's webcam just now and it was pretty awesome. (:

BODOH! ( you know what i mean kan? ) 

Maybe its true, that rumours has it that, once you do something bad, you cannot retrace your steps. You will be condemned for the rest of your fuckin life. Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.

And its fucking me that people DO bear grudges and revenges at that! well i thought nothing was predestined? The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. But why arent people thinking this way? Why is it that the only think you look at is other people's flaws and not something that made him shine?

Has it ever,ever occured to you that people change? They regret, they realise they fucking REPENT. So why arent you mofos giving a chance? Im tired. WAAAAAAAAY too tired to have the energy to hate anymore.

I was going to have a good day today. I was enjoying myself.

Dear god, please dont let us fight anymore.