do you agree sometimes happy songs can really make you happy? and being around crazy people can make you crazy? and being around pretty people makes you feel intimidated?

YES.

i give it up to baby for making me feel so much better yesterday. yes, he came over last night, like lateeee night just to cuddle up with me in the couch tryina make me feel better. i slept in his arms and we just lied down till morning.

though we've broken up like months ago, he is still there for me. and for that, i'm really touched la.

we've gone through so much. he's always been the much more understanding one, and the one thats always pampering me when the things that i want and the love and care that i need.

thanks baby. (: you know you've been my big hugs and sweet kisses kan? haha. papa macam terbaik gitu semalam eh. hahaha.

its really nice to know that you have got friends and someone special to care for you at times like this.

i know i shouldnt have broken down infront of you all yesterday but i really couldnt take it. i know everybody's feeling down too and as the much stronger one, i shouldnt have made you guys feel worst.

im sorry.

i hope after all this, and with the new script you guys would do so much better yeah? you people CAN do it. it just needs two hands to clap. i cant be the only one working hard on this. you guys must give your all too. im sure everyone of you has the potential to do it.

(:

and mr justin, the first skit was about teachers unleashing the potential in his students. but after the shootings i get from you yesterday, i just thought that teachers dont transform lives but they demoralise them. and for making me stronger, thanks. (:

i had a fever last night. hah. reason why im not in school today eh. haha.

byie, soz you didint go to school because of me today. ):

i'm heading to school later to check out the skit and find sophia for the emcee script. i really hope everything will be alright tomorow.  i dont wanna screw up.

fuck la, baby i really really really really love you can? hahaha.

eh wait, did we have sex last night? MAAAN, THIS IS SEX SEH! AHAHAHA.

i love you ah. ni cinter babe cinterrrrrrrr.

i just feel the need to rant this.

teachers day is approaching. Many things have happened lately. Someone stole Laykim's money yesterday and someone stole Crystal's mp3 player today. i just dont understand.

its all linked. and its all happening at the same place. yes, we all have suspects and people that we can point fingers at. but do you think its fair to just assume that that person has LITERALLY stolen something? no.

its not fair. a friend was accused. the father of that person was called up. everything got really messy and everything. he didint steal. he did not. it was very clear cut. just because two people said they saw him walking towards her place, he was accused of stealing.

of course he wouldnt give up and say yes fine, i stole it. im sure he wont. but deep down inside me, im very sure he wasnt the one.

and then along came this teacher. approached him and talk things out with him. Mr Flavian. man, i know ive been going on and on about how hot he is but this time, i really think he did the sweetest thing.

he actually put down the can of drink he was drinking, went up to him and talk to him. advise him and tell him things will be fine. he'll help out. the teacher did the right thing. im sure those words he said is still stucked to my friend's head now. because its still lingering in mine.

and then mr kumar came along and conforted him. cracked a joke or two and changed the whole atmosphere.

i was so touched just now i almost teared. really. loooking at the way these teachers come up to us and get really serious and really keen on helping us just made me think.

it just literally slapped me and make me wanna appreciate them MORE.

before they start leaving. one by one.

DAMN.

really,maybe what has been happening has it own reasons. for us to reflect or change or start behaving ourselves or sth. macam adam khoo workshop seh.

HAHA

just, reality.

and then theres the results. i got the lowest for math. and i told myself that this cant go on and so ive decided to buck up and study. well, i can make it if i try. im just not trying hard enough.

eoy will be much better. theres other opportunities to reach out to.

i just have to thank all my friends whos been there for me lately seh. you three girls, ario, fredo, faiz, nad, intan, joey, you guys literally rock.

thanks man.

maybe its things like this that gives me the reason to live. (:

THINGS THAT MADE ME SHIT MY LUNGS OUT.

- debate prelims, this saturday.
- mock debate, tmr.
- teachers day skit.
- planning for rcy training.
- emcee, yes or no.
- research and rebuttles script.
- dnt product.
- dnt folio.

okay thank you. haha. (: and on top of that, my dad's being such a lame assholic person at home. HAHAHA. no serious.

and im so not ready for debate. i havent been debating for like what? a year? and now its back to all those stress and poi's and rebuttals and everything. GAH.

armeeza has been really cute lately. *she goes......................*
yana has been really nice lately. *she goes ........................*
fazlina has been really sad lately. *she goes..........................*
sufiah has been really diligent in her debate scripy lately. *she goes.............*

i can SO anticipate that the skit is gonna be fun. HAHA. especially when faiz and i is really hooked up to that music video. HAHA.

i'll update really soon alright?

hHAHA.A

and baby, this is sex seh. HAHAHAA. dahdahdah.

happy birthday kyle! (: i didint know im like older than him lah seh. haha. ogay ogay. HAHA.

so woke up fucking early yesterday morning to go to CHIJ ST JOSEPH CONVENT for dear diary's performance. the whole trip was a veryyyyy confusing one i swear. we didint know what bus to take and we ended up having faith in joey. haha.

once we reached there, we werent really amazed by how big the school is and in fact, we thought WGS was much better. no, really.

we wanted to know where to get the tickets so we asked the counsillor and she was like, " errr, walk straight". and gave us this stupid look like, " idontknowwhereitiseither!"

fuck her.

when we finally found that ticket booth, theres a group of amateur kids playing around that table. so i asked do you have the tickets. and theyre like immitating me and they went something like, " do we sell tickets?"

i swearrrrrrrr, my blooood ahhhhh, go upstairs you know. so thenthen, i asked like, STERNLY, because i was really pissed.

" do we get it HERE or at the General Office?" and the teachers came and sold us the tickets.

BAD service.

we bumped into mr ismail there and he looks much younger. heh. and hes currently teaching in rivervale. ((: and hes there because st joseph convent is opening a SPA for their students yesterday.

fuck, SPA.

so when we got the tickets, we went to look for the dance room. which was where they were supposed to be performing.

another hard time looking for the place. asked the counsillors and she showed us the direction butttt we were not allowed to use the nearest staircase. so time wasted looking for the staircase. the school was fucking big i tell you. and almost all staircases are OUT OF BOUND.

finally a KIND counsillor allowed us to use that staircase. (: and while we were going down the stairs, two girls fought. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL. man, im like, !!!. seriously, they were shouting at each other.

and faiz was like, " AHHH ITS ABOUT TO BE A WHAT? girlfight" HAHAHA.

and yes, in the end we found the room and we wanted to go in BUT WE WERE STOPPED. ugh.

because they claim that the band wasnt ready. so i asked, is the band's not ready or you guys are not ready?

and they admitted that theyre not ready because they need to get the tables for food and drinks. and everything thought they were not organised. man.

its true. they were not organised. and i am not happy about that.

waited for almost 20 minutes and finally we got in. the boys finished the crackers and we took the chocolates and finished the drink.

HAHA. fifi and i was so into that grape champagne which has no alcohol. HAHA.

when the band started playing, they off the lights and so we were all dancing and jumping and singing along in the dark. pretty cool actually. hahaa.

the rest didint wanna stand up and dance and so i was mingling around with fifi and we were so crazy lah seh. we did the headbang and jumped and danced around. we even made friends with some of the girls there.

ahah. just one thing im very curious about. why are the girls so happy when they see guys around? deprived sak. haha.

i had lots of fun doing that lah. felt like as if i was at baybeats. HAHA. some of them wanted to mosh and do the human surf but HAHAHA. funny lah seh.

during break time, music was on and we were all dancing at the dancefloor. fuck i tell youuuuuuuuuuuuu, these girls can REALLY DANCE. hahaa. like, we were pumping and theyre looking at our breasts. HAHAHAHAHA. okay shut up.

GIRLS KAN. HAHAHAHAHHAA. ogayogayogay.

and baby goes " WHAT? THAT IS SEX MAN"

jHAHAHAA. dahdahdah.

APH CAME LATER ONNNN AND WHOA. much hotter sial they all. hahah. gateh. BUT THE GIRLS WERE MUCH MUCH HORNIER.

when they saw them they were like, OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. and one girl even fainted. like, bedek bedek nyer faint. HAHA. because she was too happy to see them andddddddddd she couldnt believe they were right infront of her. HAHA.

MEMALUKAN SIAH. haha. but i still wanna be in a girl's schoool. ((:

so after the whole thing's done. we had lunch and yeah, joey fazlina and i was exhanging thriller stories. ahaha. and we all got scared stiff after that. headed back to woodlands and they caught a movie while me and faz hang around cwp waiting for yana.

so she came and faz left. HAHA. and then we went to yishun to catch 881. AHHAHAA. I SWEAR MANNN, yana was like, " JU CRITER HARAM APER KAU BAGI AKU TGK NIEEEEEEE"

and as usual, after that she enjoyed the movie like fucking much. haha. i really missed adidas yana i really do.

whatever i said in the movies kan, i really mean it seh. like, how much i miss going out with him. ahhhhhhhhhhh.

and then we saw this family. motherdaddyonegirloneboy. and yana was like, INI SYAHIRANNNNN, TU YANAAAA, TASH NGAN TASHA.

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

future sehhhhhhh. dah ader family. HAHAHA. and yana goes " mdm syamsiyah pernah kata, we must think far"

HAHAHAA.

i still want my SHRIMP. MANMANMAN. actually that clam chowder wasnt so bad either. 1.90 jer seh!

yana is REALLY stupid i tell you. oh wait, i forgot. whats the nicer way to say stupid? not smart?

idk.

HAHA.

881 BESTBESTBEST.

yana, we shall take half each and the relationship stays forever. AH IYER, macam pah. HAHHAA.

its really sad lah the ending. i wanna cry. HAHA.

when we're in the train kannnn, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. to be elaborate if asked lah kehhhh?

OH AND PEEEPOS. my prepaid finish alr. HAHAA. so reach me through msn or home or whatever lah okay?

((:

i love baby. CAN? and this is not sex. its foreplay. AHHAHAHAHA. dah enough.

happy birthday dearest yana! (: hah, finally fifteen. well, we all got her a strawberry shortcut frame with the picture of the four of us and a white bear which she has been wanting ohsomuch plus a cute little card with the birthday wishes from all of us. i hope you like it. heh.

went to school with the gfs and yana was touched by the gift. oh not to mention baby got her a fucking cute pink piglet lolilop which she ate with such passion in her eyes.

i swear we were all drooling keh yana? DROOLING.

fuck you baby.

so anyways, got back the SS paper and i failed by half a mark. thanks mr fariz. you just love to make a difference from the rest of the teachers right? whats so hard about giving me that half mark? oh dont tell me i dont deserve it. you just wont negotiate. yet you go around telling people to try to negotiate with you.

i was with muzzamil when we negotiated about the marks. fuck. we didint it k? so i failed SS. by a fucking HALF MARK.

thanks ah thanks.

high possibility im gonna flunk math. and geog as well. and english.

omg guess what? only two people passed english in my class and one of them is belvis.

IM SO NOT GONNA PASS ENGLISH. FUCK LA.

oh yeah, im involved in two debates. mayor shield and the arena. thanks ah.

now my life is full of activities. i can no longer come home early for ngaji or go dating with baby at kfc anymore. daaaaaaaaaang.

after that we went to meeza's house to celebrate that cheeken's birthday. watched this saaaaaaaaad movie that made all of us teared though we all tried to hide them. HAHA. okay i dont know about you all ah, but i did tried to. man, really, the show was really sad. tragic sak.

followed by a horror movie where we all screamed and jumped and shrieked. HAHA. damn theyre all so cute. then theres the birthday girl whos always looking at the mirror wondering why shes so cute.

and then the meeza whos constantly saying shes not happy with people praising her because she gets it. she is cute.

and finally the pacelele whos given me a new imaginary friend called Jenny. (: so since nobody wants to listen to me, i shall listen to jenny or perhaps talk to her.

i so enjoyed myself just now and meeza was a good host. HAHA. right korang? best lah. and yer lah yer la. the new house colour is nice. plus your new teeeveeee and your new clothes and new shades. DAH SHUT UP.

i fucking miss MISS ELEANOR LIM. she chatted with yana just now and she said she miss 3n1 esp JUUUU AND FRIENDS. zomgx. she mentioned my name siah.

suddenly thoughts of her came back. i know it sounds really stupid and all but really. i remembered that one time she was like, come on ju, youre always close to my heart.

fuck i miss her.

now things are all not the same anymore with mr fariz. hes always giving us group works and stressing us all up with his assigments and worksheets thats endless. i want miss lim back lah sehhhhhhh. at least shes very concerned about us. unlike mr fariz.

oh heres a quote from him.

" TEACHERS SAY IM GOOD, PUPILS SAY IM GOOD. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOURE SAYING IM NO GOOD"

fuck, its supposed to be a remark hes supposed to work on. not deny and feign ignorance. FUCK.

the word for the day yeah.

i was so in a bad mood after i got my ss results. i felt like really breaking down and cry. man, i dont why im taking this so seriously. and i thought i never cared. heck.

OUH OUH OUH. theres this one time at meeza's house, which made me laugh like nobody's business. okay, like fuck. HAHA.

her dad came home and we all stand up and face him.AHAHHAHAHAHA. AND MEEZA WAS LIKE, FORMALITIES.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA.

okay not funny.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i cannot believe im waking up at 7.30 tmr to make it for the dear diary's performance at CHIJ ST JOSEPH CONVENT.

haiyo. HAHA. for the sake of maintaining the standard of a die hard fan, i must. HAHA.

and come to think about it, i havent got coloured lenses yet. MANNNNNNNNN.

baby said hes gonna get me that new future skinny and skirt by next mth.
((((((((((((((((((((:

thats to replace my ohsocool bag he tore.

i love pacelele, mezza and yananaw. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER =.=

susah ah kawan banyk byk. satu sudah la.

i love joey tai yeeeee. and mohd izzuddin. (:

OFF TO TIDOR.

today's a really bad day. you know why? because i was down on my luck like, REALLY REALLY DOWN.

went to school with baby today AND he tried to be sweet enough to carry my bag for me. which he hasnt done for the past like, 12345678987456321 years? so then while he was tryina pick it up, HE WAS GANAS ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY TEARRRRRRRR THE BAG.

so now my bag has got no strap. ):

I SWEARRRR, i didint talk to him at all after that. even after he got me that 50cents sweet.

im still currently, pissed off. hmph.

" IM NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE"
" and why is that?"
" because you TORE MY BAG ASSHOLE"
" at least its not like the way you TORE MY HEART"

ju goes " ahhh drama drama. cartoon cartoon"

i didint know this actually happens. like the DRAMA between a couple. HAHA.

so thats not all eh pls.

reached school yeah wished joey happy birthday and felt really bad after that because i DIDINT GET HER ANYTHING.

not havent. DIDINT.

thanks ah baby eh thanks.

chemistry = DIE.

you know what that means. I ACTUALLY FORGOT THE LITTLEST THINGS. dammn.

after schoool, got sent for detention by mr kumar because i skipped dnt extra class yesterday and the day before. =.=

really, its not a good place especially when you have nth to do. HAHA.

red cross ugh.

fish finger was there. big fuss big fuss and mrs choo was telling us not to get ourselves in trouble especially on thursdays.

WHATEVER EH PLS.

reached home and papa was really crazy. HAHA. hes like wearing red and nenek's wearing red and im wearing red toooo.

and then we sang national day songs.

RETARDED KAN KELUARGA AKU?

anyways yeah.

just a few comments from armeeza's blog.

i just dont understand girls. ( well besides the point that im a girl myself). okay i do understand the fact that having a boyfriend means its a complete different thing and its like the best thing thats ever happened in your whole life. but come on, that doesnt mean you should change the way you are, correct?

take a look at yourself. do you change when youre infront of your boyf? and are you like, a completely different person after he kiss you goodbye and youre back at home?

because if you are then i think the person your boyf is looking at is not the real you.

im very annoyed with girls whos very particular about what her boyf thinks.

situation 1

boy: *sees girl with friends, girl was jumping with excitement*
girl: * stops jumping and begins talking really softly and walks*

situation 2

boy: * walks infront of girl*
girl: *jumps and runs to him, and begins talking, in the flirty way*

this CLEARLY shows you guys dont know each other well. why must you change the way you are? irritating kan. HAHA.

well this happens IN MY RELATIONSHIPS.

baby: byie, i nak balik ah.
jummy: BALIK LAH BALIKKKKKKKK, PERGI LAH SANER.

i said that not because i want him to come to me and cuddle me and say no hunnybunny, i need to go off because my mom's sick.

i said because i really mean it. i was pissed. and i shall not make him ponder and wonder if im pissed or not. because i know my boyf well enough to make that statement. he doesnt know when im pissed unless i really show him what pissed off means.

KAN BYIE?

or or.

jummy: fuck eh, please, i cannot tolerate guys yang petty like you ah.
baby: syang, sorry k? jangan gini ah. i love you. and i dont wanna lose you.

i wont fall for that. why? becauseeeeeeeeeee thats what he said everyday. and hes saying it again in A FIGHT. what makes you think its gonna change the whole situation and we'll be fine again?

i just want these girls to understand that you shouldnt be touched or melt or jump at the littlest gestures. because hes gonna hurt you MORE than that.

hah.

anyways. SHOUTOUT.

fish finger.
you suck. you know that? youre getting shorter. and im sure im not getting taller either. but still, you suck. you know that? stop eh STOP pretending to be someone really big in rcy because really, youre not.

dah enough said.

red cross nco's.
haha. we're all drifting apart and theres no more bond. i miss those footdrill days. where we all stood up for one another. man, i miss you guys. hah, perhaps the greed made us all change.

miss lim bin
thanks for believing in me. HAHAHAHHAHAA.

tabby and fathin
are we REALLY joing the arena? because seriously, i got veryyy little confidence i can make it. HAHA.

baby
thanks ah eh. thanks.

yana
besok special day lah seh! AHAHA. marking dayyyy lah seh! best nyer tkder skola. HAHA.

and finally. FINALLY. the one GUY THAT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE. and this will be forever.

CHENG.

mr kumar
though you shout at me, nags all the time and sent me for detention, i see sincerity in your eyes. HAHA. hah we all know you care for us and wants us to win that 100bucks thingy. but sadly, we WILL disappoint you and we're gonna sooner or later. but really lah, youre so sweet.

from saying its all your fault to the 10 bucks you gave us just now.

MR KUMAR IS LOVE. HAHAHAHAHAHA. - 3n1 dnt boys.

oh i so love my class. oh i so love my dnt teacher and oh i so love my papa. (:

BABY I HATE YOU AH. you suck big time seh.

BETOLLLLLLLLLL.

im SO like excited. because tmr's THE LAST PAPER lah sehhh.super exciting. anyways, both geog and math paper was DIFFICULT to the max just now.

im gonna fail, bottomline.

BABY FULFILLED my dream, again. hes such an angel kan. HAHA. *suck up suck up*

HE GOT ME EARPHONES! (: double bass nyer lah seh! HEH HEH. *smiles lebar*

thanks BABYYYYYYYYYY. ((((: love awak many many arh.

ouh, i forgot. next in wishlist, SNOWCAAAAAAAAP! alahhhh. yana, youre birthday coming kan? get me snowcap ahhhh.

what? birthday girl cannot give presents meh?

tmr's chem paper and i think im gonna flunk it bad as well.

actually kan, the entry is seriously not going anywhere. andddddd i think kan, you should all stop tagging me already. whats the point of having a tagboard kaaaaaan.

*shows the last warning nyer face*

I MISS ADIDAS. meeza goes " EEE TAK CUTE JE"

SEPAK MUKER KAU.

EHHH, i JUST realised i have to make phone calls. DENG.

cheeken heads on the prowl.

14th february sweetheart.

* thats what friends are for plays in background*

HAHA. man man, i love these kids. anak saper jer lah kan. but really, theyre my source of inspiration and without them i dont think i'll be what i am today. right now. because of them, im strong. because of them, ive learnt to appreciate. and because of them, im able to stand up for myself.

guys i know this may sound really cranky and stupid and whatever, but i think without you guys, i wont be able to live on like how i am living life now. and these words are coming from my heart. i love you all seh.

and i specially love the anak wahab today BECAUSE its the 14th! HAHA. muah. happy anniversary ah babe.

anyways, baby had this friend, HE WHOM SHALL NOT BE NAMED. and he really aspires to be a designer. FASHION design. HAHA. trust me, MY TUNANG CAN DO SOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER.

i dont know what the heck he was thinking, but his designs are alllllll sooooooooo super boring.

like, he uses like, SATIN to make a teeeeshirt. and its ugly lah seh. like, the purple and red combination.

was on the phone with baby a while ago and he was like, " oh we SO cant take our eyes off that PURPLE AND RED COMBI" hahahaha

and its the barney purple and the hongbao red. thanks.

HAHAHA.

PHYSICS PAPER WAS FUCKING MANAGABLE BUT I FUCKING SCREWED UP BECAUSE THERE WERE GAZILIIONS MISTAKES IN THERE.FUCK.

NO, REALLY SAK.

manman.

the boys in class have been making me laugh so hard in class seh. from the cute sehh and the jambu sehhhh to the HA HA HA THE RAPIST IS HERE.

HAHAHAHAHHAA.

math and geog paper tmr.

bang.

i feel like dancing SO much. like the ripples and the pumps and the shakes and the big moves.

AH!

baby goes " NI CINTER SAK CINTERRRRRRRR"

HAHA.

i wanna have an imaginary friend. OH MAN.

and why do you always look like youre in a rush? slow down.

argh! english and ss was NOT easy at all i swear. well i thought the passage A was more of an inference type of qns. of course it wasnt easy to answer the qns lahhhh. damn.

fail.

social studies was hilarious. the boys were teasing the teacher who came into class and everybody burst into laughters. afiq got sent out of class and LOL really, everybody happened so quickly and it was so funny la.

im so craving for that kaya bread. man. oh random stuffs. haha.

ANYWAY ANYWAY, i NEED SO MANY THINGS NOW. like i badly NEED them. its like, either i get them or die type of thing.

- EARPHONES. (zomgx, can i get like headphones instead?)

- COLOURED LENSES. ( fuck if i dont get it by like, next week i'll cry)

- MY MIGRANE PILLS. ( get it or die type of thing damn)

real necessities man. im not typing this down because i need sponsors. just fyi.

anyways, adidas and i talked over msn just now and fuck hes REALLY cute. damn. macam nak gigit seh kepaler dier. i dont know. hes just too adorable. REALLLLLYYYY. omgx ju stop it. HAHAHA.

how would you feel if you were misunderstood? BAD KAN? ugh. whatevs.

anyways, im deprived from all the fun just now. baby actually went out with CLARA, TWINKLES, EMU, HEIDI ANDDDDDDDDDDDDD jengjengjeng, DANIEL. siallah. love at first sight lah seh.

this is what you get when you dont give people your new handphone number. HAH. damn.

and while theyre all having fun, IM ACTUALLY AT WOODLANDS LIBRARY with fazlina and nisha STUDYING SOCIAL STUDIES. how crappy is that again?

i SO saw one HOTHOTHOT guy at the interchange just now with a girl whos got plantations of HORRENDOUS HUMONGOUS MONGOUS ZONGOUS ZITS on her face. super eww.

she was practically hugging him tight. and when i looked, she gave me that hey-isnt-my-boyf-hot face.

DUH BITCH, of COURSE hes hot.

this literally made me go, NASI KANGKANG. comfirm. CHOP.

well, i couldve sworn hes got GORGEOUS SEXY EYES AND FULL LIPS. zomgx. im SO like, droooling lah seh.

but why her? WHY HER? so maybe if i got GAZILLION ZITS ON MY FACE, i'll get someone like him.

KANKANKAN?

okay so maybe this guy goes for the heart. *convinces self*

oh boo whatever i still got my ohsosmexi baby. HAHAHA. kan? HAHAHA.

faz goes " ju bello seh"

SO YEAH, my new phone sucks, bad. i hate all those sliding up and down thing. but if youre gonna get me e840, i wont turn it down.

promise.

nisha's been at my house since tuesday and she just went back a few minutes ago and i miss her already. i SO want a sister lah seh. or a brother. or a companion at home. or, anything lah seh. anything that will keep me entertained the whole day.

so i wont hang out so much or go out too often. maybe what zul said is pretty right. perhaps the reason why ive been hanging out too much and staying out late is because im the only child and that i only get my fun outside, with my friends.

because when im at home, nobody seems to be entertaining me. well, dont talk about the naggings and such. i know everybody goes through that too. but yeah. its different when youre the only child.

haha.

school's tmr. back to basics yeah. common test week. i hope it'll be okay. i havent studied much. you know what that means.

i still think i havent had enough fun yet. i dont what type of fun i want or need but i just,havent get the satisfaction yet.

idk if you get it, but i really need someone to just, spend the whole day with me going OHSOCRAZY and talking about everything under the sun and just be a fantastic companion.

fuck i so miss adidas.

stop it seh.

when baby told me how much amel has been telling him things that he feels he shouldnt know, i get jealous and you know, anger came and overpowered me.

questions kept running through my mind and i ask myself, why get jealous now? why didint you treasure him before this? why only now?

then another half of me would go, haaa, there you go again, regrets.

but i dont find it stupid to regret. everybody regrets. you get remorseful because you didint do what you were supposed to do before.

maybe it was a mistake. maybe you didint know its gonna happen. you didint know whats the outcome.

its nobody's fault. when it becomes a fault, you either blame yourself or the other party. but in this case, nobody's to be blamed.

so its a mistake.

okay here i go again. HAHA.

yazid called a while ago and told me about life at ns and i was really engrossed in the conversation. he played the solo in black diamond and fuck, i swear i feel like crying.

really.

faz. i just want you to know that all these happened for a reason okay? you didint know he was gonna change. did you? maybe you did anticipated that, but the only possibility why you didint react to it was because you wanted to give him a chance. but little did you know that youre giving him a little too many chances. now youre letting go and hes still clinging on to that fragile relationship. its time to be strong faz. do what you think you should do. dont delay already. dont wait until he starts HURTING you the way you dont want it to be. all i can say now or maybe advice you is just look at things positively alright? breaking up doesnt mean you'll start hating. baby and i still say we love each other every night. tapi kiter dah break dahhhhh. HAHA. right baby?

babe, i love you lah. he doesnt deserve someone as patient as you.

SS AND ENG PAPER TMR. diediediedie.

yana's birthday is SO coming. idonno what to get lah seh. and i miss armeeza abdul wahab ohsomuch can?

SCHOOLSCHOOOOOL.

and i think kan, the four of us needs to take a picture together. KAAAAAAN?